It's no secret that many men have always seen themselves as superior to women, it's been happening for hundreds of years. Even in that era women were belittled by their husbands. I am usually not one to speak out about women's rights and that is not what I am doing now, I am just pointing out that so many men see themselves as superior to women. Young guys now think it's okay to treat their girlfriends like their dogs and it's not okay anymore. It was never okay, but hundreds of years ago women couldn't step out and stand up for each other, but that isn't the case today. Women should be able to stand up for each other and speak out against guys who treat them like dirt.
After being in a relationship like this I can say firsthand that this mistreatment by someone you thought cared about you can destroy you if you let it, but I chose to stand up against it. After being treated like the second rate neighbors dog, I chose to finally stand up. I was repeatedly told how stupid and dumb I was for random statements I made, repeatedly told I was ugly and deserved to be treated the way he treated me, repeatedly told that I was worthless just because I did not agree with every statement he made. Having someone treat you like you are the least important person in their world when you really care about them can cause some major damage to a person. And it takes a lot of time to realize that you deserve better sometimes. It's amazing how one person can have so much control over you and how you can let their words consume you and everything you've worked toward. It's hard for me to look back and reflect on how I felt at the time. I think I pretty much hated him for how he treated me. Was that right for me to feel that way? No, but I did, nonetheless, because I knew I deserved better, but I didn't see a way out.
Why did I feel so trapped though? Why do girls feel so trapped by someone who in no way values them at all? I have no idea. I guess a lot of it is insecurity. We just like to know we have someone there even if they don't really care. We like to know someone is there even if they treat us horribly and act like we are not important.
I'm not sure when that became okay... when it became okay for a man to treat a woman like she is less than she truly is. A woman deserves someone who sees her for who she is and values that, someone that loves them even when they are mad at them, someone that treats them the way they were designed to be treated, someone that looks past the way they cry every day and sees it as another way to love her.
God created women, just as he created men. In reality, he created a woman from a man, so does that not mean that we are equal? If man was already good and God wanted to make a companion for him, one that could relate to him what better way to find a perfect companion than to make the companion directly from the man? Of course, that's the way He did it. It was the perfect way. And if a woman was exactly what He wanted her to be when He created her, don't you think she is still exactly what He wants now? So, why does the man God created feel superior to the woman God created? Is it because she was created from him? No, probably not. I don't know what the reason is, but I have a feeling that many men don't even think of that when they are treating their girlfriend or wife that way. Ephesians 5 says "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body.For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.This is a profound mystery— but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." I think this scripture says it perfectly. A man is to love a woman, wholeheartedly. He is to respect her. He is to value her and I don't understand where this all went wrong.
I do have to say that while I don't understand any of this, I think if you are in a relationship like this and you find your way out that you will always find someone else to show you how things really are supposed to be. I think that if you suffer through someone treating you terribly that God will send you someone who can help you find your way out of that darkness; someone that will help you see you are better than you've been treated and you are loved by someone who understands and values you.
Love should never change, it should only grow.
