I'm not as fragile as one might think...

Ah... it's been a while since I've done this. Amber has been aggravating the life out of me about it though so here I am. :]

Talk about stressed! Six months ago I had everything planned out the way I wanted it. Mainly with school, but whatever. I had big plans to go to UTC and major in fine arts and get my degree in graphic design. Now that doesn't seem quite so appealing. I have no clue what I want to do anymore. Everything went from perfectly planned to a hot mess of a situation. Dental Hygiene is definitely not an option anymore because I would hate it I'm pretty sure. I really was into graphic design and was so excited until I found out that, despite my three years of school already, I will have to go four more years at UTC. This just sounds like death to me. I would be almost 26 when I graduated. When I was 26 I wanted to be married with a stable job and possibly a family. Or at least working toward that. But for that to be all but non-existent and to be standing with a graduation cap on my head at 25 sounds ridiculous. I don't really even feel like that's an option. Then again if I stay at Chatt State one more year I can have my associate's in graphic design. Awesome. But I will have an associate's degree without a job because no one wants a designer with an associate's when they can have someone with a bachelor's. I guess I compare myself to other people too much. Brett is amazing at what he does, he moved to New York for three months to work with one of the best photographers in the world, Annie Leibovitz and worked for CMT for over a year. His work is amazing, but now after leaving New York and coming back to Tennessee, he cannot even find a job doing design. The same with his friend Ashley. Their work is terrific and they both have bachelor's degrees, but they still cannot find jobs. If they can't find jobs, how will I ever get a job with an associate's? So my only option is really to get my bachelor's degree, but 4 more years and not graduating until I'm 25 just makes me want to scream. I don't have four more years of school in me and if I really loved graphic design so much then I wouldn't care how long I went to school to get my degree. I would just do it because i love it. So I honestly have no idea what to do with myself. I don't see any direction that I really want to take.

On another note, me and Amber are starting a vlog so be on the lookout! :]